arachnaboy:

indigowallbreaker:

bluesocksandfluff:

taylortut:

spider-man-stan:

taylortut:

taylortut:

peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols

“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”

“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”

“what the fuck did you just say to me”

“FRIDAY alert the team that my thrusters are down and i can’t fly”

“sure thing, activating I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Protocol”

“PETER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”

Tony: FRIDAY, open these encrypted files we don’t have a lot of time-

FRIDAY: activating the Fr E Sh A Voca Do protocol

Tony, sobbing: PETER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES THIS MEAN 

AMAZING

-Peter gets hurt in a battle-

FRIDAY: Bone Hurting Juice Protocol has been activated – Mr. Parker is in distress.

Tony: -stops- He’s what?  The what?

Peter: -over the com- Oof, ouch… my bones…

Tony: FRIDAY! Engage autopilot!

FRIDAY: Activating Jesus Take The Wheel protocol.

Tony: Really, Pete?

how dare all of u forget the most important one

FRIDAY saying ‘yeet’ whenever he fires his repulsors 

elliewilliams:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was walking around my neighborhood and saw a bunch of police surrounding a small house for a drug bust. As I got closer, I heard the policemen barking aggressively, so naturally I was like, wtf??? And one of them caught my eye and said, “Oh, we’re trying to scare them out of there,” and minutes later a bunch of furries came out the house whimpering and shit.

please sign your posts with your url i refuse to be continuously terrified of humanity by them

sophrosynic:

our-fantastic-mr-fox:

such-justice-wow:

black–twitter:

Teenage alcoholism is so important to recognise. It is not healthy to be getting absolutely wasted a few times a week and sometimes young adults become alcoholic without realising it. If you are unable to have a fun time without drinking or you feel like you need to drink when others are in an overwhelming way then consider getting help.

No really. Get help. It starts with parties, and then it’s “lol im just sad all the time” and before you know it everything is awful and you’re spiralling out of control. Don’t get sucked in and don’t let tumblr Depression Culture make you think it’s normal.

See also: wine mom “culture”

scotchtapeofficial:

some ppl who grew up with siblings didnt rly Grow Up With Siblings. like if you and your brother are 10 yrs apart u just dont get it… if you had siblings within 3yrs of your age you had the genuine experience of primitive undeveloped human brains pummeling the shit out of each other because none of us have developed frontal cortices and the laws of man don’t apply in the confines of this house