thestarsaredown:

cutest-angel-in-heaven:

swede-bloggg:

pep95:

queenbradbury:

omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon

and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there

and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza

and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door

so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens

demono

((”Not just pizza”))

((”but eternal damnation”))

Alternate theory: It wasn’t that the pizza guy couldn’t cross the line of salt himself.

He just saw the line of salt and assumed that it was the only thing keeping you and your brother in, and he didn’t want nothing to do with your demon asses

Alternate alternate theory: pizza man is a slug.

Thank you for agreeing to take the Pre-Employment Assessment Test. Please answer all questions as truthfully as you can.

mpregcraig:

QUESTION 1: Your wife, the mother of your children, is drowning. You have a life preserver. However, a customer requires your assistance. What do you do?

QUESTION 2: A man has been caught stealing from the company and he is currently awaiting execution. You are the executioner. Do you pull the trigger?

QUESTION 3: Which sentence best describes yourself?

– I have clinical depression.

– I’m ready to be productive!

QUESTION 4: Which sentence best describes yourself?

– I try to do things to the best of ability.

– I am willing to bleed for you.

QUESTION 5: Are you afraid to die?

oersae:

beyoncescock:

THIS IS SO ADORABLE!!!

aybap:

wickedmamii:

towritecomicsonherarms:

Literally the cutest thing ever lmao

@gio1776 was this you as a kid

queertilly:

nerdyfacts:

Nerdy Fact #1501: The producers of Star Trek included scenes of overt sexuality to deflect the focus of NBC’s Broadcast Standards Office censors from other controversial aspects in certain episodes, like blatant allegories of the Vietnam war and racism.

(Source.)

a little tasteful sideboob and no one will notice we’re telling the government to go fuck itself

idontknowokayhelp:

Me: *listens to my own playlist*

Me: fucking masterpiece

im-not-a-crack-pot:

punkrorschach:

aeleolus:

penfairy:

“I would eat his heart in the marketplace” is legit the most savage line I have ever heard, I’d like to personally thank Shakespeare for putting into words that feeling of rage and protectiveness women get when some fuckboy hurts another woman

Okay first off, I will always reblog this post, but secondly, I went to Shakespeare in the Park tonight to see this and all the women cheered *so loudly* when Beatrice said this line, and the guy in front of me looked around all shocked and a little scared and said “… oh wow” and it was ICONIQUE

The funniest part of this line is that it was considered hugely improper to eat ANYTHING in the marketplace so she’s not only saying she’d fuck him up but that she’d do it in a way that goes against social niceties.

Kinda like “I’ll fight you in church” or smth.

!

turecepcja:

Paintings by Soey Milk